Estate agent Jules Bending has finally been accepted on to a property portal after being banned from others, including Rightmove.
Bending, who runs The Real Ralph Bending Estate Agent in Glastonbury, Somerset, has also been barred from his local newspapers after one of his adverts included a particularly suggestive reference to Glastonbury Tor.
Bending, who wears jeans to work, has also described one property as “cheap but not particularly cheerful”, another as “filthy” while a third was listed as a “three-bedroom former school house with everything except the randy old teacher and fag butts down the loo”.
Bending says people enjoy his adverts (“Characterful as a vegetarian’s fart, this Victorian beauty hums to the rhythm of a well soaked mung bean” is another example) .
However, he has now been accepted on to the pay per lead website PropertyIndex whose chief executive Lee Bramzell said: “Rightmove are taking these descriptions a bit too seriously. We are happy to welcome Real Ralph Bending to PropertyIndex.”
Bending said: “The Evil Empire of RightMove could learn from our candid approach to advertising property.
“Everybody hates an estate agent: the horrible suit, the nasty jargon. If you introduce a note of humour, people seem to like that. They trust us. And trust is the holy grail.”
Already on PropertyIndex are some classic Bending descriptions in the fine traditions of: “Sturdy two-bedroom second-floor apartment with hall, sitting room, bathroom, kitchen and parking. Suit a former inmate.”
Rightmove confirmed that it, along with other main portals, had banned Bending from its site.
Collier Stevens say – Is this so different to the great Roy Brooks who infamously described properties slightly too honestly? And how come RM are suddenly estate agents policemen? I would have thought that if the clients are happy, the buyers are happy and deals get done then there is nothing adrift.
Here’s a Roy Brooks description –
Darkest Pimlico. Seedy FAMILY HOUSE two rooms in the basement, ground, 1st & 2nd floors and attic rm. on 3rd. Decor! peeling, faded and fly blown. Garden – good G.R. £60 p.a. £6,950. If you are too late to secure this gem we have a spare along the road rather more derelict. A lightly built member of our staff negotiated the basement stair but our Mr. Halstead went crashing through.
Roy Brooks are still trading from Dulwich and whilst they still ride on the coat tails of their eponymous owners infamous descriptions they offer rather straighter descriptions now. A book collecting together some of the more juicy descriptions is available though.
ROY BROOKS – http://www.roybrooks.co.uk/default.asp
RALPH BENDING – http://www.ralphbending.com/
Providing residential purchase advice, building surveys and RICS Homebuyer Reports in Kent & London.
Regulated By RICS
call – 020 8295 1200